Why I’m Grateful for Insults

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Earlier this week I had an interaction with someone who said something along the lines of, “I’m not really into all this woo-woo stuff, is it just me?”  Now in reality, she may or may not have been referring to me and what I had been talking about.  But the important thing for this article is not really what she said, but how it affected me. I took this as an attack on my beliefs and business, even though I knew logically that it wasn’t really meant that way.  So what should we do when we are feeling insulted like this (or worse?)

Well my first reaction in all honesty was to avoid the feeling for about an hour.  The whole thing felt stupid and I didn’t WANT to feel insulted.  I knew that she never meant it to be an insult; therefore I shouldn’t be insulted right?  But of course, we feel what we feel.  We can’t cancel our feelings out with logic, no matter how much we want to.  So I got grumpy, had thoughts about how I would never succeed in business, and of course that everyone thinks I’m crazy and “woo woo.”  I knew this pattern of thought was a problem and it was time to address it.  I spent some time tapping (more on this later) because I knew one thing to be true: If someone judges you in any way, or even if you THINK they are judging you, it will mean nothing unless you believe it deep down.  On some level, you have to be wondering if it’s true.  Take this example: Someone says to me, “Kirstin, you’re really too short.”  I would laugh and wonder what they were talking about (I am 5’10”).  I’d be puzzled, but it wouldn’t bother me because I know it’s not true and I have no insecurity about being short.  Now if the same person said, “Gee you could stand to lose a few pounds.” I would be much more upset.  Because over the course of my life, I have held the belief that this is true, and felt insecurity around my size.  I have been working to let go of those insecurities, but there is still part of me that worries about that.  So I knew that the sting of the earlier interaction came mostly from my own fears that people thought I was too “woo woo.”  And that because of these “woo woo” ideas, I was not likely to succeed with my business or be accepted by family and friends. Ouch.

So I stopped right there and reminded myself WHY I believe what I do (years of personal experience that has strengthened my beliefs steadily over time.)  I KNOW that I have very good reasons for believing what I do, and that these unconventional tools and practices have improved my life dramatically.  I want to share what I’ve learned so that I can help other people experience these awesome improvements.  So I set about tapping (also known as the Emotional Freedom Technique- totally “woo woo” I know.  I saw the irony J)  After about 10 minutes of tapping, I was feeling  honestly excited and even elated about how great my business was going to be and how excited I am to help people feel better.

Tapping (aka Emotional Freedom Technique) is where you go through a process of talking about how you’re feeling, while tapping on certain points along the energy meridians of your body with your fingers.  It’s a bit of East meets West, East being the energy points like they use in acupuncture, West being the psychology practice of talking through your feelings. You then move on to more neutral thoughts and eventually replace those old negative feelings and beliefs with positive ones.  Somehow the energy gets flowing and you are able to release stuff you’ve been holding on to for years or even decades in a manner of minutes.  It’s been shown to be effective not just for stress but also physical pain, even chronic pain that had a very physical cause like a serious back injury.  They are even using tapping to help survivors of traumatic events- the genocide in Rwanda and school shootings in Conneticut to name a few- and for cancer patients.  I know it’s a bit weird, but boy does it help! If you want to learn more- keep your eyes peeled for my upcoming video on tapping.

So why do I appreciate feeling insulted?  Because these moments of feeling insecure and upset point out for me where I still need to heal.  These old wounds and insecurities are holding me back from reaching my full potential.  Underneath each painful experience in life is a lesson to be learned, a layer to be healed. Each time we work on it, we begin to feel lighter, more joyful, and more loving.  We can stop feeling like our worth and ability is based on what other people think of us. And if we believe we are worthy and capable of amazing things- we can take action and make our dreams reality. Who doesn’t want to do that? Tell me in the comments: What dream have you been wanting to go for but felt fear holding you back?

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